"Mom"

At seventy years of age, I spend alot of time looking back over the wonderful years of my youth. I remember how soft moms skin felt as she picked me up amd held me on her lap. Hers was the softest of any one I knew. She was always in the kitchen cooking, which filled our house and most of the neighborhood with a heavenly aroma. As a small child I would stand at her side watching her cook, learning how she created the delicious food that found its way to our meals on our old, wooden green and white kitchen table. The counter tops she worked on were painted cement and the white kitchen sink had a drainboard. This is where she washed our hair. She liked to rinse our hair in vinegar. I didn't like it and always said no bingity. She did it anyway. If for any reason the food she put on the table didn't appeal to you, you just waited it out and found something else later. My dad gave her fifty dollars a week to buy groceries. When food was rationed during World War II, she had to figure out ways to get by. We were lucky because my dad had a job and we had stamp books we used to buy food. Mom also canned all the fresh vegetables grown in my dads big garden. She would clean them, put them in glasss jars and finally put them in a big steamer thing that sat on top of her gas stove. After a time they would be sealed and ready for our dark cool basement. Most of the basemant was taken up by our coal furnace. It was always exciting when they came with the coal and opened a basement window for the slide that moved the coal to our coal bin next to the furnace. Moms washing machine stood next to the furnace. It had an agitator in a tub to wash the clothes and then she took a wooden stick about the size of a broom handle and picked up the wet clothes and fed them into to rollers that squeezed the water out of them. Then she went to the clothesline in our back yard and with clothespins hung them up tp dry. There was a wooden poll brace that helped hold the clothesline up high so the wet clothes would never touch the ground. There was also a cloth bag of wooden clothespins that hung on the clothesline from a hanger type thing. When they were dry she would gather them up and put them in her clothes basket and return them to the house. Some were sorted out and dampened with water from a glass bottle with a cork sprinkler. Later she would set up her wooden ironing board and iron the wrinkles out of the clothes. She was not one to spend time on the telephone. Of course, back then you had the big wooden phone behind the swinging kitchen door and you had to go through an operator to make a call. We would say this is 678R we want to call 830P. So it was until we later got a dial phone. Mom would to go to the piano in the dining room and play all the songs she knew by heart. She could not read music but, could find any song on the black and white piano eys in just a few tries. My favorite was when she played " Ain't She Sweet," and "Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue," while I tapped dance to them. She also use to pile a big blue, white fringed scarf on my head so I could be Carmon Maranda, my favorite movie star. I loved to go to the Princess Movie Theatre up town and so did mom. We use to walk to it, even at night. She had one dress I still remember because it was so beautiful. It was a rusty, brown color and had braid made from the same fabric as the dress twisted into a pattern to make pockets and trim. When she had had enough of her three screaming daughters she would take a walk. One time she had what they called then a nervous break down. It scared me because she was all of a sudden resting in bed all day. I was not allowed in her room and remember peaking in to see her. Eileen, a relative of ours came to take care of us kids until mom got better. She did. Dr Evers, our local town doctor made house calls. When my folks called him when I was very sick, he came to the house and said my appendix had to come out. I went to the hospital with him. By the time my folks got there I was already almost ready for the surgery. My mom liked and trusted Dr. Evers. Mom made most of our clothes on her Singer Sewing Machine. She went to Goodwill and found old mens suits. She liked beautiful fabrics. She made us clothes from the suits and put white pique collars and cuffs on them. They were beautiful. When we got home from Sunday School and Church we had to take off our good clothes and vasoline our black, patent leather shoes. Since I was the youngest, I got all the hand me downs. During the Winter months she would roll blankets and make them in a U shape and put them around the top of our heads as we slept so the snow that came in around our upstairs windows would not get on our heads. We had two bedrooms and one bathroom(toilet, tub and sink)for the five of us. With four women, I never remember my dad being in the bathroom. My mom always gave food and water to the tramps that followed the New York Central railroad tracks that ran behind our house. My dad had told her not to because they had a way of marking the houses that helped them and he said they would all show up at her door. He was right. When they came to the old wooden screen door at the back of the house she made us stay in the kitchen. The door locked with a small metal hook. This would never do today. We would sneek over to the doorway and look at the tramps. It always scared us because as with the Gypsys that came by, mom told us they steal children. My dad became a car dealer after being a car mechanic for many years. My mom was always driving whatever used cars he got in as a trade in. When she would go to the A&P Grocery Store aften times she would forget what the car she arrived in looked like. Once she got in a car that was exactly like the one she arrived in but not the right one. It took her awhile to figure it out. Once when she was taking us to Toledo, Ohio to go shopping, just after they invented power steering we drove into the city with two flat front tires. The guy that had the parking lot in the city was a cousins of moms and couldn't believe we had driven so far on two flat tires. Mom said she thought it steered hard. He fixed the tires while we shopped. I can't remember the funny things that confused her, except for the add that was ballet shoes for Buick Automobiles, she remembered as tap dancing shoes for Ford. Her sense of humor saved us kids many times. We didn't do alot of hugging, but we knew she loved us. She was always there when we got home from school. Thr first word out of our mouthes when we got home was mom. Her cooking was the best and I am grateful I was able to remember how she did it as I sttod at her knee watching. She always handed me a piece of raw potato or carrot. She would help all who needed it. She attended Defiance College and taugnt in a one room school house. At her funeral at 88, some of her old students came by to tell us what a difference she made in their lives. She sure made a difference in our lives. She was the kindest, most unselfish person I have ever known.

"Old Pictures"

Looking through old black and white faded pictures,
reminding you of days gone by when life was good.
Rendering images of family and friends long gone
who were the ballast of your young years.
The youngest of three was a good place to be.
Your parents had learned, mellowed and decided
you could just grow up best you could,
like a weed in a field, finding its own way.
Learning by doing the mistakes that taught you,
and watching the older ones getting into trouble.
You made you way, learning from the movies
your dad said would ruin your life.
My life is a book of black and white,
and colored images, memories in pictures
burned through the lens of my eyes
as a reminder of who I am
and where I came from.
If you open my book to any page
the child will find you, surviving
the best and the worst
as old age twists into the pages.
Rejoicing at the stories she is reminded of
as her eyes shed tears of joy and sorrow
reflected from the pages in her book.

"Alone Outside the Bubbles"

Time floods our days
like the perfect storm,
taking our heartbeats
back to the sea.

Waves wash backwards
tiptoeing into the water,
silent and alone
removing fragile footprints.

Moments gone out with the tide,
eluding the seconds
making up the minutes,
that hold moments for destiny.

Looking for the seashell
in the soft silent sand,
that holds the past
open now to fast forward.

Holding the edge
looking for the reason,
finding the stillness,
never feeling he depth.

Lost in the froth of the waves
left behind on the shore,
full of bubbles of time
exploding and disappearing.

Keeping the schedule
alone on the sand,
never questioning why?
Alone with time.

Alone on the beach.
Alone along the way.
Alone in the light,
inside the bubble.

Searching for reasons,
to exist alone
away from the sand and waves
outside the bubbles.

"Drought 2008 and Other Things"

Weather, weather everywhere turned upside down by the gulf stream and highs and lows. When it is severe in one area of the country it is usually severe in other areas. Well, for us during the past several weeks we have been experiencing a drought. Last year was the wettest year on record and so far this year it is the driest year on record. The daily temperatures reach a 100 degrees. If you live in Texas you know this is the way it is. We like to think we can get use to this, but in truth we don't like it. For us the greatest danger is a fire. We are remote, and with the strong winds that have accompanied the drought, a fire would be devastating. We also are mindful that wells do go dry. We clean the live scorpions out of our kitchen sink every morning as they look for water. Enough of the negative stuff, want to here about the funny, good events that float into our life as a result of a drought? Well, here is how it is here at our cabin in the woods, as everyone tries to beat the heat.
We realize it is difficult for all the wild animals to find food and water as we continue to receive no rain. So, Gypsy and I decided to get the metal wash tub out of the garage, fill it with water, and put it out at the feeding area located next to her five foot high, cedar post, rabbit fence. (by the way, rabbits can get under it) She wanted it close in case some wild critter showed up to get a drink and eat. All our birdbaths were full of fresh, cold well water and we kept the tub at Gypsys fence full as well. We doubled the amount of corn and grain we were putting out at the feeding area and hung a new log cabin birdfeeder outside our kitchen window, where we see the Painted Buntings everyday. We put an old retired bird feeder out by the bunkhouse. We were ready. All we had to do was sit back and wait.
Now, we realize it is hot outside, but a wiley, fox squirrel showed us just how hot. Gypsy was inside snoozing on the big, navy blue leather sofa she has claimed now that it is too hot for her bed on the small, navy blue leather sofa. I was house cleaning the cabin when something out in the Angel Patch (inside the area we fenced for Gypsy full of angels, flowers and housing a birdbath)caught my eye. I stopped and took a closer look. A fox squirrel was sitting in the birdbath, with its front feet on the edge facing the cabin. It was making sure it was not surprised if I happened to open the porch door and let Gypsy out. Its tail was in the water as well as its derriere. It actually looked pretty content, so I didn't tell Gypsy it was there. She was also content napping on the sofa on a very hot Texas Hill Country afternoon. Her right, rear knee has been bothering her, so she has had to rest a bit more than usual, or she just likes to sleep. I miss her company on my morning walk to the monastary.
Every Spring the animals that live in the woods give birth to their young. There is always a chance thay have not yet identified Gypsys area as off limits. As you probably remember we had a cat that almost didn't make it after being shaken like a rag doll after it wandered unknowingly inside Gypsys fence. I just happened to have that pan of water in my hand that was destined for Gypsys water bowl, which I threw on her so she would release the cat. She did and the cat got safely up a tree.
A young inexperienced rabbit looking for some greens to munch on entered Gypsys area through an ever so small opening under the rabbit fence. I just happened to see it and post haste went out and chased it back under the fence. Later, I went out and piled stones blocking the hole under the fence. Now, when I fill the water tub I let it run over so there is a small patch of yummy green grass and stuff. The rabbit puts its front feet on the tub and gets a big drink and then proceeds to eat the green grass. Jane Doe comes to eat and drink every evening. One time a fox and a rabbit met her there. There are many who come to this spot to eat and drink. They share well. Their hunger and thirst bring them out of hiding. Gypsy watches.
There have been other interesting events that I think relate to this dry weather. Each morning a blue jay chases a fox squirrel through the trees trying to prevent it from getting to the bird feeder on the opposite side of the fence from the feeding area. Even as the squirrel sits on the feeder the jay grabs its tail and pulls on it. The squirrel does not seem to be bothered and the jay finally gives up. Desperate situations give rise to desperate tactics.
This next story has nothing to do with the drought. It is just about life events at the cabin. Our first litter of feral kittens was born in my rock pile. Lucky is a good mother and after many weeks is still watching over her babies like a hawk. They are old enough now to come and eat on the porch. It was evident that Bobtail, Luckys mother, was expecting as well so, when she had delivered I searched for where she might be hiding her babies. I could not find them.
When David the plumber came to repair my broken septic line, he plugged his cord into the old outlet in the pumphouse. I suggested he unplug it from there and use the new outlet on the eletric poll nearby. He did. Later that day I found a dove had flown through the kitchen window of the bunkhouse and there was broken glass everywhere.(the cats got the dove before I could have it for dinner) After boarding up the window and cleaning up the broken glass, I started back to the cabin. I remembered that David had left the pumphouse door open. It occured to me there might be a cat locked in there as they tend to enter any door that is left open. So, I checked and sure enough Bobtail was in the pumphouse. I let her out and closed the door and went back into the bunkhouse to be sure I had turned everything off. Just because I am an incessant checker I decided to check for maybe another cat that might have been shut in the pumphouse. Sure enough there was a cat in there. But, wait, it was Bobtail. I had just let her out a few minutes ago. I checked closely and much to my surprise I saw three, tiny kitten tucked back in a corner. Bobtail was hissing at me to stay away. I returned her hissing by giving her a talking to for dropping those babies out on a hard, dirty cement floor. I checked around at the back of the pumphouse and noticed she had made an entrance where the hole was that would allow water to run out if the well pipes started to leak. I went back in the bunkhouse and tore up an old, flowered sheet that had been left there in an antique chest. I then went back to the pumphouse and spread the pieces of torn sheet on the floor for the kittens. It is a good place to have your kittens, dry and safe. Bobtail is a good mother and watches over her babies well. Soon they will be joining the others eating and playing on the porch.
The cats are off limits to Gypsy. She would get them if she could. She has decided to ask the vet not to weigh her again when we return Friday for her check up. Last visit he said she needed to lose five pounds. She thinks her collar is fitting a little looser so she is pretty sure she has lost those five pounds she had put on during the Winter. We think her leg gets alittle worse as we make a fuss over it and gently message it. She seems to limp less when she is pursuing a squirrel or chasing a vulture. We don't think she would fake it just to get attention, but we aren't sure. The fact is we are getting older and know there may be a few aches and pains that go along with this timely process. We know as long as we have each other our days will be rich and full. Merrick the seven year old son of Bill, who keeps this place running was here for a visit last week. After we had done a few things in the cabin and he had spent some time with Gypsy he said," You know what, you are really lucky to have a dog like Gypsy." I know.

"Keep Your Being Soft and Quiet"

Snow falls all night,
covering the ground,
taking trash out of sight,
never making a sound.

It has been misting all day,
trying to find its rain,
making no sound is ok,
finding no rain, gain to sustain.

Silent clouds move freely
across the blue, sunny sky blown
bringing moments of shade,
Earth bound in the wind unknown.

Breezes blow and softly fall,
moving only the formless that sing,
covering the freezing hopefuls
lingering at rest until Spring.

Even you as we sit quietly together,
exchanging our love, joy and peace,
causing each others soul to sing,
our hope it shall never cease.

The best of life
is not always the first to be,
we learn this as we age,
living the present is the key.

Noise is a nuisance you see,
causing destress to the human ear,
what we like is soft and silent
like you in your own way my dear.

Be as quiet as you can
until your last day,
surely your best gift to all,
in each and every way.

Gather what you can
as you stay on lifes busy diet,
remembering as you travel on,
it's all about peace and quiet.

Talk less and listen more,
one makes no sound you see,
and do not keep score,
just be still and be.

Find your Camelot
it will be your perfect spot,
this place you will like alot
finding yourself as you stop.

Rest easy as you hover,
where peaceful hearts take place,
in the silent streets of rest
to stop this human race.

Please just be
for all eternity,
like every flower you see,
to deliver taciturnity.

"There is a fire ban."

There is a fire ban.
So dry it is a real threat,
the smoky air a fright,
no fire house near the cabin,
no rain in sight.
Windy and dry the wild animals
do the best they can.
Coming closer than they should,
a rabbit, fox and deer
met in the feeding area
for food and drink,
asking each other,
"What do you think?"
They all agreed as they might,
surving is a desperate plight.
Scorpions in the wet kitchen sink,
snakes in the wet garden,
birds filling the birdbaths,
all drinking, drinking, drinking.
Many came for the water in the bucket
we put at the feeding area fence.
Morning glories struggling
to survive the 100 degree days,
clinging to Gypsys fence,
feeding the thirsty hummingbirds.
The dust rises from our footsteps
off the dirt road
as gypsy and I
take our early morning walk.
The section of our main paved road
they graded and graveled,
covered the roadside woods
with white dust,
making it look like
a Winter frost.
Their is an eeriness
about the dust covered trees
that hang over the road
as you drive through it,
a ghostly feeling of foreshadowing.
Green and blue snakes dead on the road
crushed by cars and trucks
as they venture out to look for water.
A piece of a rainbow clinging
to an early morning gray cloud,
moving with the wind,
a promise of rain to come.
The woods so wet last year,
so dry this year.
They say we need 4 inches,
we hope this rain is near.
When it arrives
all those so dry,
we will run outside and cheer.

"Happy Birthday Kody, June 17th 2008"

Father loved our pink cheeks
cold from the Winter winds.
Grandsons Kodys cheeks are so
from the suns Summer glow.
Why do we never tire
of youths fresh atire
filling our aging days
with renewed dreams to admire,
in so many special ways.
Today Kody is nine,
a loving, gentle boy.
A God given gift,
not given to all.
If we cannot see the joy
that lives in his young heart,
our souls eyes have been closed
by the dust of time.
Laughing hearts do not die,
they grab hold of those around them.
The ties that bind are strong
consuming all else they can.
Kody is the best there is
and so he will be
when he is a man.
Love is never lost
it feeds a tired universe
where youth waits.
Grandma loves you Kody
each and everyday
in everyway.

"ADay"

Gypsy and I awoke early Thursday morning. I had been worried about the way she was favoring her right rear leg, and had made an appointment for her with our new Spring Branch vet Robert. She is getting older and needed what the vets call a wellness check. She was not happy when I put her in the back of the Prius on her soft, beige dog pad. She doesn't particularly like car travel, so I don't often take her. As soon as it clicked in her head that car rides mean veternarians, she started to shake. This always makes me feel bad for her, but there is really nothing I can do about it. As we approached the door of the clinic she applied her power brakes. No amount of coaxing or sweet talk could get her to budge. A hard pull on her special leash got her inside the door where she again applied her power brakes. Once there, I had help from the experts at the clinic to get her to relax alittle. Now, she was really shaking. We entered the examination room and two women came in to take her temperature and weigh her. There is a look in a dogs eyes that comes over them when a thermometer is inserted into their rectum that you do not see at any other time. She had this look. The thought crossed my mind that I might be in for some trouble when we get home. She weighs 49 pounds. Robert the vet came in and did her wellness check. I aired my concerns. To start with, she was 5 pound over weight. Girls don't want to hear this. She gave him one of her disgusted looks. Now, I must admit we both put on a few pounds this Winter and are feverishly trying to get rid of them. Less food and more walking should do it.
However, with her bad leg I wasn't sure how much to exercise her. I had no excuse. I left the clinic to run some errands at Bulverde while the vet and the gals at the clinic x-rayed her, did her blood work and finished her check up. When I returned to the clinic, Robert and I looked at her x-rays on his computer. She appeared to have alittle arthritis in the knee of her right rear leg. I didn't realize dogs have knees. Missed that all these years. It hurt her. She showed signs of this by holding her leg in the air and not wanting to put weight on it. Vitamins and a disk of her x-rays in hand we left the clinic for the cabin. We would be hearing from Robert in a few days about the results of her blood work. If they were good, and now we know they are, we will start her on an anti-inflammitory to ease the pain in her leg. I saw her head pop up in the back of the car as we approached the cabin. She started sniffing the air. She knew we were almost home. She was relieved the poking and probing were already part of her past. She began to stir inside and felt an urgent need to get to her back forty and check on the squirrels, rabbits, birds and deer. Had they been there during her absence? Had the vultures flown over her territory looking for prey? She was reieived to discover the lizards were still hiding in her two wood piles near our "Angel Patch" and the smell of squirrel was fresh. Gypsy was tired after her ordeal at the vet clinic, so she came inside the cabin out of our hot, dry weather to snuggle down on her blue plaid summer bed on her two cushion, navy blue leather sofa. The air conditioning blows gently over this area. She was thinking how good it was to be back in her bed, with the cool air caressing her soft white fur, relaxing her at last as her eyes went shut and sleep found her.
That evening, Nick my oldest son and his wife came for a visit. He is a doctor and does something called rapid recovery. We ate dinner and looked at her x-rays on my computer, then he started to work on Gypsys painful leg. Usually Nick works on people, but he also works on royalty, that being his mothers dog. He spent along time using his red laser on her leg. Then he used his skilled fingers to adjust her leg. While he was doing this she raised her leg in the air to help him and her eyes slowly lost their ability to remain open, She was enjoying every moment of this wonderful attention. Nick and Sheri stayed the night. There was not a sound to be heard as darkness fell over the woods and cabin. Gypsy was dreaming of her trip to the red laser, massage spa and how good it felt. I was fast asleep on my "Sleeping Earthed Sheets", and Nick and Sheri were sleeping in the cabin loft in total quiet and darkness. We all got up early. Nick and Sheri drove back to San Antonio where he had human patients to see. Gypsy was out at the first light of the day checking for fresh scent. She thought her leg was feeling much better. I was on the cabin porch watching her as I absorbed my espresso. The breeze was blowing and the air was cool, another beautiful morning not to be missed. Later, I went to the other porch where the feral cats hang out and checked to see if Luckys four baby kittens were eating. They were. Lucky was born last year, one of two kittens born to Bobtail. I accidently killed her sister as I slowly moved my already cat inspected car. The kitten had crawled up inside the car and did not respond when I made my anti cat noise. The four new kittens have made their home in a large pile of rocks I was moving to outline my flower beds, driveway and alien self parking area. Needless to say my rock moving has been cur-tailed. There is an all black kitten, a calico kitten, a gray stripped kitten resembling its mother Lucky and a kitten that is gray with half white legs resembling its father Half and Half. Things are ever changing here at the cabin. Gypsy and I do our best not to miss any of it. We hope and pray the hot weather will cool and that the rains will come. Our lives are like sand through the hour glass. We are grateful for every grain. We stay in the present and rejoice with the dawn of each new days adventures.
Gypsy is a nine year old English Pointer, a superb hunting dog and friend. She is truely a Princess. She probaby has more miles on than most. Together we grow old here in our cabin in the woods, acknowledging each others aches and pains. We listen each days to the song of the woods and watch to see what creatures it will send across our paths. We know how lucky we are to be here, and how lucky we are to have each other. After all it not everyone that has the opportunity to live with royalty. I know my place.