"Passage of Time"

There is something about this passage of time.
It is unique to any other time that passes.
It is a hole into the very core of being
holding unknown events still,
even after they have taken [place
but, have not found us yet.
They come with perhaps a phone call
informing us about something that happened
to a friend or family member.
A surprise we could never imagine.
This time passes when you are
living as though things are as usual
and you discover that something has happened,
such as a plane crash.
You were happily waiting at the airport and suddenly
everything changes.
It can also be a happy event.
I don't know what to call it.
You are actually hap,py when it
has already occured you just don't know
it has occured.
What is this time? A mystery to me.
Everyone has had this time in their lives
and wondered how it could happen.

"Send Me No Flowers"

send me no flowers
just let ne go
drifting memories
are all that's left
of good times
lost in the past
fate threw at me
when I thought I knew
where life was taking me
with you at my side
I didn't know myself
I didn't know you
we had a love
that paved the road
that led me here
and I am eternally grateful

" Fire From a Match "

a handful of ice is what it felt like
when I touched you knowing
I had lost you to a younger
more beautiful world
which would renew the lust
of our youth when we did not
know what time would carry with it
changing our looks and thoughts
catching on rough spots between us
we never really tried to iron out
listing like a sinking ship in the rough seas
created by years together never bailing out the
darkest recess of the boat we were in
wondering where the laughing teenagers went
who knew nothing of tomorrow
holding hands with fate not failing
because of promises made in black and white
and the mask of dwindling youth
the fire from a match was
all there was

" Come Sit by the Cross "

Come Sit by the Cross
make it your choice
success no loss
when He hears your voice

it stands alone
close to a tree
near the stone
it says come to me

it gave you salvation
a gift of love
can you see
the promise from above

it beckons all
who want to know
to test the call
and in love grow

prayers of asking
you can do
Jesus will find you
in your heart so true

if life isn't working
if it seems a mess
He has a plan for you
without all the stress

if you haven't looked
for his plan for you
stop what your doing
it's the right thing to do

love wields great power
it glues us together
the cross is the tower
for us to be better

" Go Someplace Remote and Write "

this is a a place
where God makes house calls
and where Jesus
comes to rest

just a small log cabin
in a five acre woods
in the rolling hills
of central Texas

we haven't always lived
in the Texas Hill Country
God called us here
and told us to write

He didn't tell us
what to write
so we do the best
we can to please Him

when we got His message
telling us to go someplace
remote and write
we questioned His wish

the remote part was ok
except the kids
didn't want me
so far away

the writing part
was impossible
for me to even imagine
I didn't know how

as a matter of fact
I froze if ask to write
more than my name
and address

His plan for me
has been recognized
He is leading me
down His path

when my life is what
He wants it to be
it will be
what I want it to be

" A Turkey Day "

While I was talking on the phone this morning to my oldest son, a large male turkey walked into my front yard. As soon as we finished our conversation, I stepped outside to take a closer look a it. It was calmly strutting around the yard, fluffing its feathers every so often. Now, since it did not flush, I knew it was not wild and must belong to my neighbor Joe. Just a few weeks ago he purchased about six or seven turkeys. During my last visit with him he told me one of his male turkeys had come up missing. So, when this guy showed up, I pretty much figured it was Joes. I called him and he said it probably was his and that it might follow me if I could walk it down our road to his house. He said the bobcats had been after his birds, so he had set a trap for them. As of yet, he had not caught any, so it stands to reason the birds might have had to make a hasty retreat to a safer place. Joe is only here on the weekends, so I decided to try and keep the turkey in my yard so he could come and get him when he gets here on Friday. I closed the gate and called Bill who is coming today to finish work on the bunkhouse and told him the gate would be closed. I ask him to call me if he had a problem and that I was at home trying to keep a turkey from getting out of my yard. Usually when the gate is closed during the day I am gone. I went out and threw some food around. I could tell by the way the turkey was acting that at this point, it was not going to follow me anywhere. It was not excited by my presence just cautious. The front porch feral cats were interested in the big bird but, had enough sense to leave it alone. Gypsy has not seen it yet because she is out in back of the cabin in her angel patch. She on the other hand, if she could, would pursue this big bird with gusto. She has had dreams of going after a big bird. She enjoyed the quail and pheasant, but what she has always wanted was a BIG bird. Her dreams of the sighting, the chase and the final catch have filled her mind for many years. She has obsessed over it. Now, Gypsy does not want you to think just because she caught a big bird that she would just tear it to pieces and cover herself with blood and guts while digesting some delicate morsels. She has respect for turkeys, and believes they have a place in the world. The only problem is that place is in her mouth after a fun, fun, chase and catch. She has no idea that a bird of this size could wreak havoc on the likes of her. When this scenario plays out in real life we will know for sure. Until then, Gypsy will continue to dream her dreams about the big bird that got away in a pursuit so close she ended up with a mouth full of feathers. When she is on her bed sleeping soundly and her feet and eyes are twitching and quivering she is in hot pursuit of this wiley bird, the one that got away. I hear the turkey calling, I wonder if Gypsy will hear it. As I look for her I see she is on a solid point. Oh my, what a day this will be, a turkey day.

" Peaches and Cream "

Oh crescendo oh!
a silent sight
so brilliant
of white clouds
of a peachy sunrise
covering the hills
the suns misty rays
finding their way
through the trees
throwing trails
of light
like highways
leading to
where you sit
covering your mind
for the day
peaches and cream

" White, Pink and Blue "

white, pink and blue
morning glories
dancing in the breeze
just outside the window
where I write
I am not sure
but, I think
the hummingbirds
have gone for the winter
looking for more summer
they do not visit
the morning glories
anymore at my window
stopping to look
in at me as I write
they know it's time to go
perhaps someplace in Mexico
looking for warmth and food
we will miss them
the lonely winter is coming
the morning glories will fade
we will watch and wait
white, pink and blue

"Faith "

For the first time in my seventy years of life I saw a situation where too much faith caused a disaster. There was a television show where a father lost his wife and youngest son when his oldest son shot them to death. Most people who knew the family thought they were a close, tight knit family. There attended church and contributed to the community. They were nice people. They had strong faith in God .
If you looked at their family pictures or talked to their neighbors you would only believe they were a wonderful family. Only after this disaster occured did some people speak of problems concerning the oldest son. The mother on occasion had voiced some concern about him. Some of his friends spoke of unusual
circumstances concerning the oldest son. The father when questioned about his oldest sons activities admitted there were some unexplainable situations concerning him. The son had been in college three years and his family thought he was going to gradate, they did not know he was not making it in school since his freshman year! Well, yes they saw some questional things but, had faith all was well. The son had spoken to people about killing his family. No one could believe it could happen. How many time have you heard it said that if a person says they are going to kill themselves or someone else to believe them. There were signs that this boy was in trouble. No one took it seriously, they had faith everything would be alright. The father a faithful weakling ignored his sons cry for help. The mother had questions and did nothing. We go to church and are nice folks and know there can be nothing going wrong in OUR family, with our hands over our eyes and our fingers crossed behind our backs. God expects you to use your head and if you suspect a child or anyone else is in trouble step in and do something. If you are the parent of a child that has been in college for four years and has actually not been in college four years, and you didn't know he was not in school for the last three years raise your hand. How many of you parents would not have known this? Would there not have been a signal or two or something that would have motivated you to check on your oldest sons activities? How could you not see something was wrong in all that time? You were not trusting your instincts, your blind faith that all would be well fell by the way. We cannot let our faith blind us so as to allow horrible thing to happen because we don't want to interrupt the comfortable feeling we have in believing somehow because we are doing everything right that everything will be alright if we just believe it will be right. Faith has to be backed up with common sense and strength to deal with the unpleasantness we want to ignore and not have to deal with because it will break what we think, but know is not so, the perfect bubble our life is in. This is the mentality that says, I don't want to know if my kids are taking drugs or are in some sort of other trouble. What do they spend the money on that I give them? If I know I will have to deal with it and right now all seems well, so lets not rock the boat. I would rather not know what someone is doing, so I don't have to deal with it. At least once in four years call the college where you child is a student and check and see if he or she is actually there. Pull your head out of the sand and know any child can get in trouble. Know they will hide it from you because they know it is wrong. If something is wrong you hide it. Just because you go to Sunday School and Church does not automatically mean all is well. Faith can be blind, God is not. He gave you instincts and intuition to see wrong doings. Trust yourself and know where you children are and who they are with. Now we all know this is not 100%, but do your best. God wants you to watch dog your children.

" Hunting Czechoslovakia "

While hunting in Czechoslovakia
we had bird boys and girls
who would pick up the birds we had shot.
They were teenagers looking to learn
and earn alittle money.
One of the girls who was fetching birds
for John and I was having alittle trouble
picking up the birds if they weren't quite dead.
I decided to help her and showed her
how to put her foot over the live birds head
and press it firmly to the ground.
Do what damage you can do
and then reach down and pick it up
and wring its neck. Hence, a bird for the
cooking pot, back at the lodge.
Often they were our evening meal.
After the days hunt there was a service
honoring all the birds
that were shot that day.
They were laid out on the ground
near a large fire started in their honor.
The hunters formed a line in front of them
and were part of the service to honor the birds.
Good sportsmanship and respect for the game
were always part of our hunting.

" Hotels "

Remember staying in the 5 star hotels?
A lobby fit for a King.
Staff in starched, pressed, uniforms scurring about
taking you to your room with a view.
The bed linen white, crisp and clean.
White down covers perfectly placed on the bed.
An air conditioner purring out its cool, clean air.
Clean carpet and a clean bathroom, no smoking here.
The ever present shampoo, conditioner, soap, body lotion shower cap
kleenex, hair dryer and drinking glasses
with paper covers over the top to tell you how much they care
and that that glasses are clean.
Thick, white cotton bathrobes and towels.
Just pick up the phone and you got
a delicious breakfast in bed,
and anything else you wanted.
A little refrigerator full of your favorite drinks.
Hangers you could steal, color television,
extra pillows and blankets that looked
like no one had ever used them.
Candy on the pillow at bedtime
and a paper under the door in the morning,
and wake up calls.
All you could want and more.

Remember this hotel?
A dark, dingy, lobby
that smelled of old dirt and smoke.
Dragging your suitcase up the stairway
down a dimly lighted, smoky hallway
to a room that looked down
on the roof and the alley
above the hotel kitchen.
The carpet was dirty and when you opened
the window to get rid of the smoky smell,
you smelled the cooking grease of the kitchen.
The towels were small and gray,
making you wonder if they had ever been washed.
There was no soap, shampoo, etc..
There was a dark gray ring around
the bottom of the bathtub.
Someone elses hairs stuck to the surface of the tub.
There was something brown on the toilet seat.
You were not sure if you wanted to even
put your suitcase on the soiled bedspread.
You carefully folded it
and took it off the bed.
The pillows looked like a bag of cement
that had hardened in the bag
and lost its paper cover.
You looked down at the gray sheets
and noticed something on the fitted one
that covered the mattress.
You looked closer and saw
that it was a scab from someones scalp
with a long black hair still attached.
If you went down to the desk
and ask for clean towels and sheets
they would be the same.
How were you going to stay in a room
where you did not want to touch anything?
You did.

" The Latest and Greatest "

When times are good
there are plenty of good times.
We want more and don't keep score.
Mistakes were made,
everyone is to blame.
Whoever becomes president,
will inherit this mess.
Debt is destroying
our land and people.
The taxpayer will
pay the bills of the country
when they can't pay their own.
They are now the needy.
The need for the need.
Never enough of the latest
and the greatest.
The goods times stopped,
even the rich are poor.
The searchers stuck
with their feet
in the mud of greed.
A perfect situation
for the terrorists.
What will matter after
they stike again
and there is no power
to plug in the latest and greatest?

" Me, Myself and I "

Everything I write
reflects
my outlook on life.
Memories of the past,
a glimpse of the present,
the maps of the future.
Like openning
a box a Cracker Jacks
to find a prize
and see what it is.
So much happens
by your doing nothing,
like gray hair and glasses.
Forrest Gumps mother
said it well.
"Life is like
a box of chocolates,
you never know what you are
going to get."
What we search for
is ourselves,
hidden like the seeds
we put in the compost
waiting to see what will surface.
Surprise, after surprise
of new growth
sprouting in our lives
as we search.
Never quite satisfied
because we know there is more
we have not yet discover.
We need to know
what is over
the next mountain.
We need to know
what will continue to fuel
the flames of our fire.

" Learning to Remember "

Learning to remember.
Your birthday
after the three years
you have been gone.
Being reminded again
of the events intertwined
in 46 years together.
What I would be
if our paths
hadn't crossed.
The children, animals
friends, hunting, fishing
giving life to our life.
We made our way
the best we could.
The good times still
bring a smile to my face.
Alone now, to see
what I still have to learn.
I wonder as I wander
an uncertain path
still following
your footprints
after all these years.
Your eyes just behind mine,
learning to remember.

I Am the Writer"

I Am the Writer.
I am nothing.
You are the reader.
You are everything.
Each word
that finds the page
is for you.
Too much, not enough,
you are the reason
I am here.
You are why
I write.
My mind searches for you
in each thought
protecting and respecting
the very idea of you.
Laughing and crying
among the words.
Come and sit with me
and be my friend.
The writer.

"Nomad"

Nomad
searcher
learner
metamorphose

answer the question
hands eyes heart
become the camera
you hold

wheels for feet
traveling
to see
first hand

no following
independent
intelligent
hilarious

places
hold you
crayons
color your eyes

watching
sorting
pictures
frames

minds eye
camera
never still
journals

click
images
silent
lonely

finding
yourself
in the eyes
of others

Nomad
where
are you
going?

what do
you want
to find
in the light?

perhaps
the part
of you
unknown

the part
observers find
in the shadows
of your work

the little bit
left behind
to make
them wonder

the mystery
in the picture
revealing all that
needs to be known