Free Money

money is the root
of all evil?
most want it
and it does not come free
you can be given money
but someone paid for it
inherit it find it
earn it lose it
burn it melt it
spend it save it
invest it steal it
donate it worry about it
with too little
be corrupted by it
bribe people with it
throw it away bury it
hide it make it
make clothes
that look like it
take pictures of it
hold it in your hand
put it in your
purse and pocket
and wallet
money belt it
so think about it
it might make you happy
for awhile
but it won't keep you happy
but most importantly
you can't take it with you
you are leaving this world
the way you entered it
money free

White-Headed Female Cardinal

february 23 2010
texas hill country
live oaks and cedar trees
rivers and lakes
south blanco county
white-headed female cardinal
second sighting
first a few weeks ago
mingles well with other birds
at the feeders
with the exception of a white-head
looks like regular cardinal
december 29 1966 they were sighted
at green point union township
lebonon county pennsylvania
they stayed until
march 3 1967
in a valley between
blue mountain and second mountain
in the appalachian chain
oak and hickory trees
here at the cabin
this is big

Bobtail

manx cat
first feral
delicate petite
no tail no tale
remarkable
survivor
leader of two
six-packs
of feral cats
asleep on
her sheepskin
on the cat porch
near the snow
bobtail teaching
us all we need
to know

No Mirrors for the Monks

at the monastery on the hill nearby
where I go on sunday morning
there are no mirrors in the restroom
could it be they think if you see yourself
it will bring the world into Gods territory
what is wrong with what I look like
I have already altered it
to satisfy the world
I have already altered my being
to satisfy the world
I am what it expects I fit in
God loves us just as we are
why is it so hard for the world
or ourselves
to love us just the way we are
the only adornment we need is our soul
we don't need mirrors to see it

February 23, 2010

the texas hill country
it is snowing in south blanco county
the ground is white with green patches of grass
snowflakes as big as silver dollars
red cardinals eating birdseed on the snow
twice as red against the snow
each cedar fence post has a pancake of snow on top
a squirrel is eating sitting on an ear of corn
on a nail on a tree
the birdfeeders are very busy with doves
and other smaller birds
the sleet that is falling will cover the snow
and make it slippery
it is now sleeting and snowing oh my
what next from our gray sky
my dirt road will not get slippery but the paved ones might
gypsy knows what to do as animals do
she is asleep on her highway 281 red leather chair
her blankets are soft and warm
I will join her on my brown leather chair
absorb the warmth from the embers in the fireplace
and ponder how rare it is to get this kind of snow
here in the beautiful texas hill country

Why Didn't I Try

why didn't I try
I love you mama
please don't follow me home
can't you see
I don't know
where I am going
caught by destinies hook
found by windy clouds
making it difficult to see
no dawns early light
a frightful sight
no light for days
metronome steps beckoning
laughter finds my ears
mamas home I hear her calling
the grave couldn't hold her
neither could I

Food for Thought

how am I doing
what am I doing
facebook stuff
I don't think so
gypsy just got
a second $100.00 shot
from the vet
an infected anal gland
don't think you want
to know anymore
about that except
that she eats cat poop
might be the problem
there was a BIG scorpion
in my fruit bowl
its been too cold
for them around here
hummmm? must have come up
from mexico in a sack
of oranges
they are regular visitors
during the warmer months
we are always glad
when we find them
before they find us
edge falls a rock outcroping
nearby the cabin
looks like niagara falls
we were fogged in again today
gypsy and I sat on the porch
and watched our world
get smaller and smaller
and disappear
I made pork sausage
fried it on my buttered iron skillet
put it on an onion bun
spread with butter and toasted
yum yum bet you want some
the organic strawberries
weren't bad either
food for thought

God vs World

no matter how hard we try
to fill days
with people places and things
we are still alone
we know all is not well
but feel helpless
we need to learn more
no one can help us
with this lonely search
only patience and dedication
all we really need to do
is search for who we really are
come to terms
and love ourselves
everyone elses love
is not reliable or enough
and will not sustain us
as we search
the answers lie within
each of us
quietly waiting
for the ice to melt
and show us what has
been there
all the time
we stop searching
when we find ourselves
and establish a quiet place
for Gods eternal love
a calm and peaceful soul
full of God not the world

Firsts for Hadley

february 6th 2010
was hadleys first birthday
grandma milnor gave her
a bouquet of fresh spring flowers
beauty for someone beautiful
it was her first bouquet
there will be
much beauty and many firsts
for this little girl
look who won her first door prize
fair and square
2010 valentines day
at grandmas cabin
the table was set
a beautiful pink azalea
in a pink planter
was the centerpiece
on the old hotel table
it was to be our door prize
aunt sarah and friend jill
were the first to arrive
then nick and sheri with baby hadley
and sheris mom diane
aunt sarah and jill decided
on how to choose the winner of
of the pink azalea door prize
each person drew a number
aunt sarah called out
that two was the winner
in hadleys small hand
the number two on the paper
was already wet crushed and chewed
but not enough that we all couldn't see
hadley had won her first door prize
a happy valentines day

Being Alive

you don't think much about being old
when you are young
but when you get old
you think about it alot
you think about the real meaning
of life
what is it for
why do we have it
minimum control
ultimately no control
if you are lucky young is easy
maybe even fun
you don't know enough
to know
how much you don't know
you pine away the day
wishing for all the wrong stuff
and sometimes you get it
and crash and burn
you have alot of years
for that smooth waxed paper slide
into old age
as a matter of fact
until its here you don't know it
but what you do know is what you didn't know
when you were young
keep waxing your slide
its called
being alive

Gee Whiz

gee whiz
think of that
scaredy cat
don't know
scat flak
seems ok
fluffyness
didn't do
goo goo eyes
goodness sakes
no mistakes
braced words
huddled muddled
no fit fizz quiz
whiz kid
gee whiz

Return to Sender

return to sender
lost love exhumed
tender touches
hopscotch
secret glances
chanced
hushed words
whispers
high hopes
stolen smiles
tears traded
for truth
loveless
dashed trashed
no remorse
simply put
I don't love you
anymore
returned to sender

I'm Back

I'm back
my mind took a vacation
for the entire month
of january
a tricky month
that can fool you
into believing
you are really living
really alive
thinking eating and sleeping
or something like that
a train off the track
I'm back

Slot Machine

slot machine life
all those days gone by
stacked like stairsteps
stored on slot machine like film
running through the annals
of a 72 year old mind
like watching a movie
with no beginning
and no ending
starting and stopping at random
unorganized pictures
holding on to each other
to keep the present coagulated
laughing and crying
until the pictures stop
and I drop another coin
into the slot

Aunt Wilma

when aunt wilma was ten years old
she could walk under the kitchen table
there were whispers about some kind
of bone disease I don't think anyone knew
she was one of nine children
my grandmother delivered
on their farm in northern ohio
there were six boys and three girls
my mom was one of these girls
wilma never got very tall
but lived a long healthy life
alone until she moved into an old folks home
when she was living her middle years
she called home the second floor
of the old family house in a small ohio town
near the farm where she was born
mom use to take my sisters Nedra and Janny
and me to clean Wilmas rooms
there was no upstairs bathroom
mom carried the slop jar down the stairs
and emptied it in the outhouse
the slop jar was the size of a big paint bucket
and very heavy when full
mom gave each of use kids a piece
of something that looked like pink silly putty
we warmed it with our hands
she showed us how to slide it over the wallpaper
which was the way it was cleaned in those days
the pink color slowly turned gray then black
probably the result of the coal furnace
mom washed windows and took Wilmas laundry
to be done at our house
we were glad wilmas house was clean