August 23rd 1958-January 23rd 2005 Have I lost you?

The tears just come. They well up inside of me and roll out of my eyes and down my cheeks. They continue their journey falling where they may reminding me of a past so rich and full. Where has it gone? Where did I put it? Is in on a shelf in the closet? Maybe it's in a drawer in the antique chest. I think it is all tucked away in small recesses of my heart. The past where you found my heart and laid claim to it. We took a journey together for 46 years and suddenly, in the blink of an eye you were gone. My youngest son Daniel and his wife Amy were visiting her father Harvy Kawadler's condo if Florida. John and I were in Florida on vacation. We had gone to meet them at the condo and watch a football game. All was well until John fell forward out of his chair. They got him back in the chair and I ask him if he was ok. He had a small scratch on his forhead where he had hit the floor. Then his left arm began to twitch and his eyes rolled back in his head. Dan and Amy and I watched your face, two inches from it, as your life slipped away to the stroke that was stopping your 65 year old heart. Dan yelled for someone to call911. We told you you would be alright, just hang on we said, we love you, just hang on, just hang on, as Daniel yelled again for someone to call 911. As E. M. S. hit you with electic charges trying to call you back to us, we knew it was too late. They took you away to the hospital. Daniel and Amy and I followed. We waited wondering if by some miracle you rallied. The doctor came into the small, dreary hospital room where we were waitng and told us you were dead. I said I wanted to see you. They warned us about going in to see. They thought it might be too much of a shock to see you in this condition. We did anyway. When we touched you for the last time, you were hard and cold. The stroke had stopped your heart, but, your soul was on it's way. There were tubes coming out of your mouth silencing you forever. We knew you were no longer here with your lifeless body. When we walked out of that room it was the last time our eyes would ever see you. We knew what you had in life would go with us. It was so hard to leave you in the cold, impersonal hospital room. The metal table where you laid looked so hard and cold. We had to prove yours was a natural death. We had to prove there was no foul play. We went to a Florida funeral home and planned for you to be cremated and sent home. I didn't want to leave you. The airlines gave the empty seat beside me to my son. Thank goodness Daniel was with me. Amy had to go on a different flight. It was so hard to board the flight home without you. This was your death. Now let's tell about your life
We met at a lake in Indiana, near a small town called Fremont, where our parents had cottages. You and your family came from Fort Wayne, Indiana. My family came from Wauseon, Ohio. We water skied behind George Milliers inboard, The Blue Goose. We played ping pong and ate chocolate chip cookies at Dick Carrs cottage. We listened to Bill Haley and his Comets at your cottage on your size 45 record player and again played ping pong. We danced at Bledsos Beach. Sometimes old friends Harry Neilins and Tosh Acubo would visit the lake. What followed their arrival was a party. We all got together with a ukuele, beer and a fire down by the lake in front of Carr's cottage We sang songs, told stories and laughed a lot. These were the days my friends, I hoped they would never end. During the Winter we went home and college.
During these years John and I began to develope a relationship. I received the help of his younger sister Martha. We rid him of his old girlfriends like Donna Jean Fackler. It wasn't long before we decided to get married. This came about on August 23, 1958 We were married in the Wauseon, Ohio Methodist Church. There were 300 people to wish us happiness and send us on our way. We went to Florida for our honeymoon and then to Indiana University. We lived in Bloomington, Indiana above the Full-O-Pep store next to a railraod crossing that signaled the approach of a train with a bell. We got to know all the engineers. John sold dictionaries door to door and we did a paper route down in the beautiful hills of Brown County. Many of our deliveries went to people who had no other connection to the outside world. As we drove our little black Simca car, which my dad got for us, through the river beds we found many of them waiting for us at their mailboxes. We moved from Bloomingto to Indianapolis, Indiana and the to Des Moine, Iowa. John worked for Remington Rand Corporation, as an office manager for a few years and then we went back to Indiana where John took over the family Business, Newnam Foundry in Kendallville, Indiana.
John was not a foundryman, so he eventually surrounded himself with the best foundry people he could beg, borrow or steal. He was very successful and helped many others become successful. He worked very hard. We had three children, first Nick, when we lived on West Avenue and Sarah and Daniel after we moved to the woods in the country. The house had a stable where Dick Pontius kept his horses. He lived in Kendallville which was just miles away. The kids rode horses and played with goats and chickens in their yard. These were good years that led to another move to San Antonio, Texas. Chromaloy American found John and wantd him to run their foundries in the Eastern half of the country. He said ok and we were on our way Texas. We moved next door to the Larry and Charlotte Franklin family who were destined to become good friends. The name of the street was Lost cabin. Their children Kristie and Kelly grew up with our kids. John and Larry were gone alot so Charlotte and I and the kids did alot together. One night a week we would go to Gatties pizza for dinner. The kids all went to Churchill Highschool. John and I decided to buy a ranch and we took our kids and went there in the Summer. It was at Tie Siding , Wyoming. While there, Juan and Joni Reyes went into the cattle business with us. We had good times there and it was a good place for the kids. Lots of their friends and ours visited us at the ranch. John never got there alot, but, the kids and I were there for the three months of the Summer. Later we bought another ranch at Wheatland, Wyoming. The kids grew up and got busy and we didn't go to the Tie Siding much, so we sold it. Then eventually, we sold the Wheatland Ranch to Juan and Joni who had moved there when we bought it. We bought a house on Beaver Island on Lake L.B.J. and it didn't work out so we sold it. We sold the Lost Cabin house and moved to our second house on Lake L.B.J at Mallard point in Granite Shoals. Then when our grandson Kody was born we sold the lake house and moved backed to San Antonio to take care of him. We lived in Timberwood Park at 703 Lone Circle. It was a beautiful house on the top of a hill. This was the house where we had your funeral celebration. We had discussed what we wanted to do when we died and had our 45th wedding anniversary party just in case one of us did die. Well, you left us on January 23rd in Florida. It is best to die quickly and you did.