46 Years

January 23 2005
he didn't die alone
Amy and Dan were with me
we stayed close
talking to him knowing
we were losing him
saying things like hang on
we love you
everything is going to be all right
as we watched his life quietly
slip away
ems tubes shocks too late too late
death took him to a hospital
in Del Ray Beach Florida
where we waited for the doctor
in the small gray dimly lighted room
where you wait for them
to come and tell you
what you already know
what has happened
it couldn't be
I said I wanted to see him
the doctor said maybe not
because he still had tubes and stuff
they used to try and save him in place
I said I wanted to see him
I wanted to be sure they were right
I wanted to see for myself
when I stepped into the small
cold room everything stopped
there he was so still
he would never move again
why wasn't he breathing
I walked to him and reached out
and touched his face
his cheek was so cold and hard
I thought he is not here
it was so cold in that room
even today as I write this
I can't stand to feel that cold
I get up and go to the hook
on the back of the bathroom door
that holds his favorite gray sweater
I still wear it to keep that cold away
rigormortis follows death telling the truth
to those left behind who need proof
after 46 years