The Rest of My Life

1944
small town in norhern ohio
the room is cold outside the snow is falling
sisters in the other bed nearby are asleep
a little girl sits propped up on two pillows
because she is struggling to breath
she has been scratched and injected revealing allergies
and has been told she has asthma
her lungs feel like they are full of glue
breathing is so difficult she is frightened
guilt trickles into her thoughts in the quiet morning
because of this the family gave up their only pet Butch the cat
he was saddly taken to grandmothers farm
special covers for her bed and oil mopped floors followed
removing and protecting from the terrible house dust
mom sat her on top of the wooden painted white chest
brown coffee like powder fizzled smoked and burned as it sat
in the small saucer next to her in the closed up bathroom
where she sat alone inhaling the smoke to help her breath
no running and playing for her today just another trip
to the doctors office where the two allergy shots a week had begun
the serum came in the mail in a small brown box
from the doctor in the city where her mom and dad had taken her
as the injections progressed they became more and more painful
mom bought her a small pink music box bribing her to behave
and let the doctor give her the shot
sometimes she was screaming on her back on the floor of his office
of shinny metal and the smell of ether
this is the same doctor that came to the house
when this child was sick in her teenage years
he announced to her family she had to go to the hospital
to have an appendectomy
he said do you want to go with me or wait for your parents
I went with him
this is the child of 10 who was dropped off at the dentists office
crying as she walked up the old wooden steps of the old building
to his office where he drilled with the old rough drill and no anesthetic
because I wasn't taking care of my teeth and he thought this would
motivate me to do better he was right
the small statue patients got when finish wasn't enough
to remove the dread that would accompany me to the dentist
for the rest of my life