E-TAE-WON

diane and I went to Korea
in September of 1982
to do some christmas shopping
we took our tennis rackets
but of course it was winter there
with ice on the courts
we pulled on our ear lobes
all day and night
to prevent jet lag
and laughed all night
diane lost her key to the hotel safety deposit box
where she had put her shopping money
and they had to jackhammer it open
before we ate I checked my food and dianes
and got whatever had no garlic
canned figs with heavy cream for breakfast
free of the garlic I did not like
the people were friendly and helpful
we bartered for everything
and got cash on the black-market
we had to be in the hotel by midnight
when the city lights went out
according to marshal law
when we visited the DMZ
there were four of us on the bus
for the three hour bus ride
through no mans land
from Seoul to the DMZ
the young korean man who accompanied us
wanted us to be sure we told the americans
to keep their troups at the DMZ
and that the Koreans wanted an undivided country
many had family in north korea
it was a very interesting trip
the rest of the time we shopped
Seouls main shopping area
E-TAE-Won where we bargained for everything
we ordered all the eel skin items we could
and hand picked all that we bought
we flew back to Seattle with twenty korean toddlers
and a bag full of christmas gifts
the kids were being adopted by american families
don picked us up at LAX and we drove
to snowy big bear california
diane put a hot water bottle in my bed
it felt good on that cold snowy night
sleep came quickly full of visions of shopping
E-TAE-WON

Wishes and Dreams

I am dreaming of the way I felt
as a child on christmas morning
my sisters and I knew there would be
gifts under our christmas tree
we knew santa would come
we always put cookies and milk under the tree for him
and in the morning found them gone but for the crumbs
after the excitement of christmas eve we finally fell asleep
awakening early unable to curb our growing excitement
we gathered at the top of the stairs where at the right moment
janny and nedy and I were released
we came down the stairs with great anticipation
our eyes were filled with two huge gray and blue balls
that seemed to sparkle against the christmas lights
we were delighted and played with them all day
there were other gifts for everyone as well
but the best gifts of all
for these happy children
were that early in life they learned
that wishes and dreams can come true
gifts that have lasted us our lifetimes

Youths Secret

is youth
really wasted
on the young
it is hallowed
by the old
if not desperate
to remain young
standing on the hands
of the clock
pushing them back
trying to stop
father time
my mom always said
remember how it feels
to be young
that's the secret

Words On Sale

words are on sale
they have no
good arrangements
they use to be well written
and have staying power
continuing even when the author
who wrote them died
sometimes they did even better
they were cozy nestled together
on pages even chiseled in stone
however when shouted or whispered
or misspelled or mispronounced
they became confused
they sought forgotten silence
and were soon forgotten
if well spoken to suit the occasion
they linger alittle longer
listening to themselves
with the ears of all listeners
becoming wordy using
words of no value
sale rack words

Rock and Roll

the rock and roll marathon
is tomorrow in San Antonio
it has been going on here
for a few days
my neice Dr. Laura
sent me some requested medication
for a common ailment
it was a nice thing for her to do
I was anxious to get started
well get started I did
I should have know when
she used words like
work up to
slowly work up to
that I should do so
now let me point out
this is a small cabin
when I am at my desk writing I am
ten steps from the bathroom
in my tv chair 8 steps
at the kitchen sink 12 steps
all hell broke loose
with little warning
at 72 I don't move like
a spring chicken anymore
but spring I did
barely making it to the toilet
why did they put it back in the corner
my life has changed
I have moved my furniture
am keeping my path to the bathroom clear
the second my body issues a warning
I am on the move
am trying to figure how
I am going to leave the cabin ever again
should have known with words like
thorne, active path and fermentation process
on the medication I was in trouble
I think the sprinting exercise is good for me
Nick my doctor son
says 4 or 5 days a week 45 minutes exercise
how about 7-24 Nick?
if you can give your patients
the stuff Laura gave me
that rock and roll marathon
will be easy

Get It Right

never alone
sharing
helping
easy
hard
alone
+
another
together
get it right

Luckiest Person

every morning
I remind myself
I am
the luckiest person
in the world
pitch black darkness
found my sleep
now awakens me
the lacework of the trees
from the first light
is beginning
must not be missed
two red hibiscus blooms
bobbing in the breeze
just outside the kitchen window
bright beautiful cardinals
are busy at the feeders
it is quiet in the cabin
until Elvis sings
why can't everyday
be like Christmas

Reefraff

it is easier to be loved
than to love
the reefraff of years
for protection
shores up your heart
be careful
the original heart
floundering
lost in the rhythm
of the waves
that never stop
silenced only by
shores that allow
frosted time
love joy contentment
quiet souls
by the sounding sea

Where The White Morning Glories Grow

there is peace
there is time to reflect
there is time to dream
there is a cushion
to catch the fall
there is love to fill
the empty places
isn't it strange
we need the empty places
to find peace reflect and dream
where the white morning glories grow

Imagine

this morning I am in the Northwest Territories
standing on the shore of Great Slave Lake
with my husband drinking our last cup of coffee
we will go duck hunting today
our young indian guides
are doing last minute packing
preparing our small aluminum boats
for the trip to the duck blind
they will use satelite trackers
to keep on course across the big lake
have had a breakfast with the other hunters all men
and am in my hip boots and down jacket
my winchester 101 pidgeon grade 12 gauge shotgun
will make this long exciting trip
for the first hour it will be full speed
under the stars in the pitch black dark
I will position myself as low in the boat as I can
to stay out of the wind and stay warm
hope the guides know their stuff
you only survive minutes in the cold water
there is no swimming in hip boots
during the beautiful sunny day
we saw many ducks geese and other wildlife
we left with only ducks
geese mate for life
as soon as we got back to camp
we headed out to go fishing
imagine

Dust Gathers Everywhere

mom was asleep
when I walked into her bedroom
full of her lifetime
old things addressing the log walls
she liked it that way
when I reached out and touched her hand
her eyes opened slowly
showing her figuring out who I was
she smiled and squeezed my hand
I wondered when she got old
I never really noticed it until now
she said she had a story to tell me
so I should come close and sit down
she reminded me of the visions
that came to her over the years
and how they they leaked into her life in so many ways
she thought it was time she told me of some
one of which was going to be fulfilled soon
this is the story she told
years ago before my father died
she told me she had a vision of an american indian brave
standing on a hill not far away from her
it was evening and he was outlined
against the bright red summer sunset
his long flowing black hair had some feathers braided into it
he was wearing brown fringed buckskin pants and brown moccasins no shirt
he was young and she wondered who he was
she wondered what this meant
she was silent and watched
he turned towards her and reached out his hand
he wanted her to take it
he wanted her to go with him
she was afraid it might mean leaving her life behind
for some reason she wanted to go
but knew it was not yet the time
it was difficult to say no
but her husband was in poor health and needed her
the indian turned and walked away and the vision ended
a few years later he returned standing on the same hill
looking exactly the same but there were many indians with him
she still did not know the meaning of this
he again reached his hand out towards her and motioned for her to come
all the indians seemed to be waiting for her
she knew it was not yet time
she did not take his hand and they all walked away
she wondered if he would return
not long ago she saw him again in another vision
she was tumbling over and over in pink golden clouds
he was standing off to the side laughing as she tumbled by
she was laughing as well
then the vision changed and she was disappearing off in the distance
still in the clouds and he was gone
she knows she will finish her journey soon
and she and the indian will be on their way
he has been patient and so has she
she said it will be the beginning of her next life and she is looking forward to it
she had thought of these visions often and knew she would know when to take his hand
they will walk along a path next to a beautiful mountain stream
and perhaps meet a man with a horse a dog and a fly rod
she said she would not see the end of this vision
but that you would see the dust gather everywhere
she said when she took the indians hand
she would be young again


in a vision my mom had she saw where my father was after he died
he came to her walking down a path next to a beautiful mountain stream with a horse a dog and a fly rod
he said to her "our time apart for you will be years for me minutes"

Writ

just good and proper
right is right
perfectly positioned
left right?
the rite
words write
writ

Right Rite Write

46 Years

January 23 2005
he didn't die alone
Amy and Dan were with me
we stayed close
talking to him knowing
we were losing him
saying things like hang on
we love you
everything is going to be all right
as we watched his life quietly
slip away
ems tubes shocks too late too late
death took him to a hospital
in Del Ray Beach Florida
where we waited for the doctor
in the small gray dimly lighted room
where you wait for them
to come and tell you
what you already know
what has happened
it couldn't be
I said I wanted to see him
the doctor said maybe not
because he still had tubes and stuff
they used to try and save him in place
I said I wanted to see him
I wanted to be sure they were right
I wanted to see for myself
when I stepped into the small
cold room everything stopped
there he was so still
he would never move again
why wasn't he breathing
I walked to him and reached out
and touched his face
his cheek was so cold and hard
I thought he is not here
it was so cold in that room
even today as I write this
I can't stand to feel that cold
I get up and go to the hook
on the back of the bathroom door
that holds his favorite gray sweater
I still wear it to keep that cold away
rigormortis follows death telling the truth
to those left behind who need proof
after 46 years

He Loved Me

halloween
today is dads birthday
I don't know exactly
how old he would be
and I am not going
to figure it out
I am just remembering him
and the way he held me
on his lap when I was
a child sick with asthma
we sat on the old rocking chair
in the livingroom on cold snowy nights
with our feet over the floor register
feeling the warm air
from our coal furnace in the basement
he brushed his hand slowly across
my forehead over and over
helping me to relax
so I could breath easier
and maybe finally sleep
at 72 I still remember this
and know that he
loved me

Watching

I watched the sun
as its rays darkened my skin
I watched birthdays
escort old age
as my wrinkles found
their places
I watched my death
as it stole what it had to
in dark cold silence
I watched the small
pale blue morning glory
as it grew among the green
on the woods floor
and wondered if it knew why
it was alone
and that I was watching

Cabin Wisdom

it is not just important
to discover Gods plan for you
but to execute it in a manner
He might find sufficient
it is not your good deeds
that will determine your place
with Him it is your love
He does not punish
He loves

Cabin Wisdom

remember
many wild animals
and insects
move much faster
than you think
they can

Cabin Wisdom

when approaching
a camp fire
it is wise
to determine
which side
is dispersing
warmth and free
from smoke

Twisted Blisters

daily double
flat sided bubble
twisting
burning
yearning
watch out
don't get
caught
swinging
tight rope
of no hope
painful musing
tripping
painfully uncertain
there should
be
no blisters

Joyful Bounties

poems come from everywhere
in color and black and white
they never seem to care
if they are exactly right

they linger in laughter
join hands and kiss
when questions occur
its hit or miss

poets are clever
poets are smart
perfect endeavors
from the start

royal mounties
poets so dear
their joyful bounties
gone with no tear

Soap String

funny
how nature informs
its dwellers
there is a change
on the way
funny how our
life design
does the same thing
we keep grabbing
at the soaped string
and wonder why
it slipped through
our fingers
we can't hang on
to the love of our life
we can only learn how
to remember it well

Flickering

we all want to be happy
let it be
we don't need to keep
sharing our pain
trying to give it away
doesn't work
we need to share our joy
and if we don't have any
get some
joy walks into my life
when I see pictures
of Kody Hadley Asher
grandchildren laughing
delighted by something
we hardly noticed
a candle is designed to burn
to its very end
so should we
flickering

Labels

please stop labeling me
you can't
I am unique
there is no label
that will fit me
or anyone else
I pray when and where
I want to
I eat what I want to
when and where it suits me
I don't follow every fad
facebook twitter and texing
don't need it
I don't like waiting in line
makes me think I am waiting
to become like all those ahead of me
give me land lots of land
with starry skies above
don't fence me in
with a label
my life is my own
for me to know
and for me to let go
of what others will know
there is way too much talk
about everything
we need to shut up
and live our lives
the best we can
my husband use to say
if you don't live your life
someone else will
don't want to be like
someone else
you can be you better
it is only in the end
you become part of the whole again
leaving it at birth
returning with the final label
this is all
you need to know

Sunday Morning Prayer

hot humid sunday morning
decided to do some praying
in a good spot for it
over at the monastery next door
the greek monks chant
a beautiful service
in greek which means
I don't understand it
from 6am to 11am
it is a magnificent holy place
where understanding words
is not necessary
then of course you eat
oh here I go again ambling on
and not getting to what I wanted
to tell you
little quiet slow things
become big noisy fast things
here at the cabin
like this morning
I stepped into the garage
and got stopped short
I had to sweep a tarantula
the size of a baseball
out of the path to my car
it didn't like it much
assuming its attack mode
showing me all its biting stuff
it meant business so did I
wondered if a prayer
would work here and now
I gently persuaded it to retreat
to a safe dark corner
away from the sure crunch of a tire
gentle interesting creatures
I hope our paths cross again

Rattlesnake

years of taking pictures
when our kids were growing up
probably thousands or more
different cameras lenses
big and little
the decision was
couldn't give up the big lenses
one day I decided to put my camera away
wondered what I had been missing
too much time clicking searching
a lense for perceived perfection
I know now it must be in you
or maybe doesn't exist at all
an expectation of just one more frame
did I see more with my camera
squeezed against my cheek
like a shotgun I don't know
maybe I see it differently now
relying on only my lenses
the only thing I know is
I love those old pictures
rewinding the good old days
reminding me of so much forgotten
there is a new camera back on my cheek
still trying to get the rattlesnake
coiled at my feet

Forgive

Jesus loves us
just as we are
He died on the cross
forgiving our transgressions
He is both teacher and advisor
forgive yourselves and others
who have trespassed against you
love yourself so you can love others
what you don't have
you cannot give
be happy content and well
unforgiven issues sprout the seeds of disease
find the peace and quiet of Jesus
let it live in your spirit
He will show you the way
He always has and always will
He has never changed

"Snow"

there will only be snow time
just 12 days of summer
the rest will be
unforgetable
unbearable
cast on crutches
probably pulleys
waiting for footprints
never arriving
no tracks
you gotta have tracks
or else how will
we know
where to go?
in the winter snow
in the winter show

"Light"

the light I have found
is enough to show me
the way through
my darkness

"Soul Searching"

life is like our angel patch
a small rock garden full of flowers
and feeders for the birds
a place for them to drink
and flip and shake the water
through their feathers
gypsy and I sit on the cabin porch
every morning and watch the patch activity
if you have forgotten who gypsy is
my 13 year old english pointer hunting dog
who never ceases to be interested
in birds, bees, toads and cats
we have noticed that some plants produce
many beautiful blooms year after year
rewarding the eyes of the beholders
and some don't they struggle
slowly withering away
like people who know only their edge
always surrounded by others
cluttering their flawless soul searching
surrendering to times embrace
before they are free
to embrace themselves
ending up finally with me
alone in my rhyme
soul searching time

1955

class reunion
the dress
too small
for 2010


another look
time reflects
reality
paved to gravel


unless
diet
exercise
miracle


time flies
sneeky aging
where have
I gone


gray hair
bulges
glasses
hearing aid


I will walk
my dog
when the coffee
kicks in


when life
kicks in
1955
who knew

Trouble

has anyone noticed
there are no more rainbows
since the Antichrist arrived
saying and doing whatever it takes
to cover the truth of what he does
talk abounds with no results
the earth shakes and rumbles
destroying itself from within
just like us
we will need what it takes
to survive in the rubble
of trouble
perhaps we already are
the false Christ the false people
build your boat

Gladly Living

the joy we share
as we tarry there
a special time
just for you
no computer phone or tv
alone with you
getting my heart
in the right place
to feel your peace
knowing you go
with me each day
along the way
just to be sure
all will be ok
we wait each day
for your footsteps
on the path we made for you
through the woods
gladly giving
gladly living

Chupacabra

who what where
wolf coyote fox dog
no one knows for sure
what is it
where did it come from
the ugly chupacabra
shot in a barn
near a small texas town
another in a field
no rhyme nor reason
you can plainly see
for this creature to be

Catch Me If You Can

today is not the day
to write about blessings
can't seem to find a line up
that makes sense to me
saying what I want
to the right tune
write delete
write delete
ho hum
like me
trying to write
about blessings
as they dance around me
like words falling down
crooked steps
calling out catch me
if you can

The Rest of My Life

1944
small town in norhern ohio
the room is cold outside the snow is falling
sisters in the other bed nearby are asleep
a little girl sits propped up on two pillows
because she is struggling to breath
she has been scratched and injected revealing allergies
and has been told she has asthma
her lungs feel like they are full of glue
breathing is so difficult she is frightened
guilt trickles into her thoughts in the quiet morning
because of this the family gave up their only pet Butch the cat
he was saddly taken to grandmothers farm
special covers for her bed and oil mopped floors followed
removing and protecting from the terrible house dust
mom sat her on top of the wooden painted white chest
brown coffee like powder fizzled smoked and burned as it sat
in the small saucer next to her in the closed up bathroom
where she sat alone inhaling the smoke to help her breath
no running and playing for her today just another trip
to the doctors office where the two allergy shots a week had begun
the serum came in the mail in a small brown box
from the doctor in the city where her mom and dad had taken her
as the injections progressed they became more and more painful
mom bought her a small pink music box bribing her to behave
and let the doctor give her the shot
sometimes she was screaming on her back on the floor of his office
of shinny metal and the smell of ether
this is the same doctor that came to the house
when this child was sick in her teenage years
he announced to her family she had to go to the hospital
to have an appendectomy
he said do you want to go with me or wait for your parents
I went with him
this is the child of 10 who was dropped off at the dentists office
crying as she walked up the old wooden steps of the old building
to his office where he drilled with the old rough drill and no anesthetic
because I wasn't taking care of my teeth and he thought this would
motivate me to do better he was right
the small statue patients got when finish wasn't enough
to remove the dread that would accompany me to the dentist
for the rest of my life

Who Shaved Soccer?

mysteries come and go
some we figure out
some we don't
soccer a big long haired
black and white cat
showed up here
a few weeks ago
I tried to scare him off
by shooting my beebee gun
near him
didn't work
he liked it here
with my 11 feral cats
good company
didn't know where he came from
he slithered and slunked his way
into an accepted place
on the cat porch
spraying everything in his path
we admired his determination
and stopped shooting at him
well, a few days ago
he showed up shaved
looking good
at first we thought
we had yet another cat
but decided he is
a member of atleast two households
ours and the one that shaved him
feral cats are amazing
they find a way
to get what they want
and survive

Alex

Alex came early wobbling its way
into the gulf of mexico
from warm southern waters
it went right left right again
and finally left making landfall
100 miles south of brownsville texas
its 100+ mile an hour winds
only reached 60 miles
so brownsville was spared
just lots of rain
some saw small tornados
we got four inches of rain
on and off for a few days
we needed it
typical texas weather
always wanting for something
thanks Alex

Ironman

the ironman competion
a race ride
on destinies wagon
puppets on strings
of strength and desire
wanting to finish
wanting to win
the possible impossible
race of the mind
body and soul
mustering more strength
from a secret source
deep within over and over
to survive
overcoming agony
maximally
swimming biking running
reaching for the stars
and finding them
the ironman

Black Sand

troubled trembling tears
etch the black volcanic sand
fire ashes gone cold
the breath of life
whispering for the surf
to send its waves
to cover the lopsided
axis lines and angles
designing motion
moon pulling destiny
liaison to what lies beyond
the suns searching strands
weaving wantonly
chased by wind swept clouds
sacredly selecting
the path of life
in the black sand

Wishing Well

mangled dreams
fragmented thoughts
morning glory vines
that dangle
from the fence
searching for
something to hang onto
searching for their place
in the tangled mass
randomly forming
squirming for space
welcoming whatever comes
swaying in the breeze
waiting to see
if their choices
will keep them
safe in the storm
shouting from their flowers
calling the frightened
to the wishing well

Stuff

poets are like
old straw brooms
sweeping up what
falls from life
and settles forgotten
on the floor
like old dreams
past passions
fires gone out
the stuff that
glues the best
and the worst
stuff
poets write about
stuff

Keeping the Peace

I expect things to happen the way they do
oh I don't mean for you to get the idea
that I think I can predict the future
however if you were born at some point
you will die with lots of good and bad days
as you wander the highway of your life
if you are lucky at some point you will get it
searchers usually get it
they are not discontent with their lives
they just know there is more
more they need to discover
like explorers who need to see
what is over the next mountain and the next and the next
they need to see where they will someday
ride off into their sunset
where they will not hear their footsteps
where everything begins and nothing ends
where contentment is their blanket
where the music of the wind is love
where they listen from the mountain top
searches hands joined holding their world in place
keeping the peace

Dew Drops

high humidity
covered
the cabin roof
with dew
this morning
as we sat
on the stone
porch steps
as we do every
morning drinking
our espresso
it dripped off
the recessed ridges
of the metal roof
finding our feet
cool and comforting
we could hear drops
finding the ground
nearby
we watched drops
fall onto
the boat shaped
mandevilla leaves
growing on the railing
next to us
dew drops
making their sounds
syncopated rhythm
morning songs
compliments
of mother earth

hanna

gypsy and me
hanna makes three
we are happy
at our cabin heaven
she is the hummer
we rescued from
top cat bobtails
clenched salivating mouth
pondering a name
for this lucky bird
as she paid us her
morning porch visit
a decision was made
there was one nurse
last week in er
hanna
went out of her way
to make our stay
very ok
our little hummer
will remind us
of her
as we ponder on
the porch
each new day

Need to Know

need to know
really
why?
my quiet life
is mine
all mine
want to know
call letter
visit
time for the
really wanted
tunneling fast
faster fastest
uneasy troubled
lack of self
searching the stars
for a place
to land

Crash of 1957

the crash of 1957
close to sending
us to heaven

unforgetable sound deafening
fright fueling disbelief
queasy aching pain

left behind to watch
all the people
untangling the mess

our 1957 light blue and white
plymouth station wagon
an accordion

body bolts sheared
other cars demolished
bloody injuries sharp bones

hard hit
hurting head
hospital visit tears

2010

unknown secretly
kept trauma
head stored

weekly visits
son nicks office
red laser adjustments

unwinding the puzzle
opening the stored
pain and fright

freeing me from
diluted unknown
trapped trauma


tears in the night
reliving
crash of 1957

body held
body released
adjusted

The Crash of 1956

the crsh of

Twilight Zone

twilight time
patient quiet
gentle soft
gone quickly
like a young lover
who holds you spellbound
timely fragile
like snow in warm hands
melting away
between grasping
invisable fingers
taking its turn
each day becoming
the twilight zone

On Line

if you don't understand
line after line
look under yourself
maybe behind
think away all you know
what you have learned
what is for sure
picture yourself
like you were before
before you forget
look between the lines
color outside your lines
put it all on the line

Red Leaves

when the red leaves fall
light finds the crystal
power is there
in the mist
hands reach
minds search
a loaf of life
sliced into numbers
wailing at the wall
stumbling crumbling
after the bowed head
simple syrup
grilled cheese
checkmate
knowing no end
after the red leaves fall

Lingering

in the thick morning fog
freshly blooming yuccas
form dancing ghosts
as they gently sway
to the music they hear
breezily tuned
from the other side
of the unseen hills
whispering
what can't be heard
of a story
that should never
be told

Mind Path

pain is like
the mercury
in a thermometer
goes up and down
revealing a secret
that lies deep
in your soul
it will leave
if you give
it
a mind path

Love

Love
is like
fire
and
ice

Itch

Only an itch
knows
how long
it needs
to be
scratched

Mothers Day 2010

beautiful sunrise
quiet calm peaceful
alone with my old dog gypsy
sitting on the stone steps
of the cabin porch
pondering mothers day
Jesus came up the path
we made for Him
He brought deer
fox and rabbit
and many birds
including our favorite
indigo bunting
we watched and were
grateful for these
very special gifts
making this
a heavenly day

Copper Blue

the hawk came
and told me
the fox
was here
indigo child
so far away
gigolo to
unwelcome times
the river
finds its pace
in the dark
as well
as in the light
your shadow
in copper blue
so will you

There is a Problem

there is a problem
brewing under the metal roof
above the feral cat porch
here at caras alien ranch
in the leaping frog woods
the wrens built their nest
under the edge
of the cabins metal roof
where it pulled away
forming an opening
just the right size
there is a problem
this is the spot
where the logs join
locking into place
exposing their ends
forming steps
the cats can easily climb
something had to be done
my daughter sarah and I
put up the stepladder
I handed her rocks
the right size to fill
the space between the logs
taking away the cats ability
to reach the nest
anticipating cats
still sit in a nearby tree
and on the porch
listening watching and waiting
pointing out to us
there is a problem
how to protect the babies
when they leave the nest
tension is mounting
perhaps a net?

The Mothering of Hadley Jace

girls are born to be mothers
they trust and love
it is evident already
in the actions
of my beautiful
granddaughter Hadley Jace
at just alittle over
a year old
she is already helping you out
by offering things
to your hand and smiling at you
most of the time
telling you you are ok
in her eyes
making you feel better
about yourself
she is nurturing all those about her
like the mother
I am sure she will someday be
I hope I can help her alittle
on her adventure into life
her light has shined from the beginning
brightening our days
helping us to revisit our childhood
to recapture the wonder
in discovering the first
of everything

Fox

quiet dusk
first one fox
then two
every evening
hushing us down
showing us
the quiet
in the dusk

Mother

There is something
you don't know
about my mother.
She carried a picture
of movie star
Joseph Cotten
in her billfold.
Perhaps, if you
are of the right
vintage, you will
understand why.
This may tell you
alot about my mother.
It did me.

Woody Woodpecker

remember woody woodpecker cartoons
with his funny laughing call
shown during the previews
at the dime black and white movies
at the princess theatre on mainstreet
the same place you went to see
roy rodgers and dale evans on saturday night
and if the theatre was full
as it might well be
you shared a seat
you walked the three blocks to main street
and on to the movies
it was safe in those days
in a small rural ohio farming community
everyone knew everyone
and looked out for them

the woods has introduced us
to another neat woodpecker
oh I don't mean like a cool one
I mean neat like tidy
he eats the suet we put out
in the peanut butter sandwich sized feeder
with small inch by half-inch open rectangles
he sticks in his beak and flies off with a treat
what is neat about him is
he starts at the square
on the far right bottom row
then systematically moves to the left
space by space until that row is gone
then he moves up a row
and in the same orderly fashion
returns again and again
we refill and get the next
neat repeat

thats all folks

Christmas Creatures

twas the night before christmas
and all through the cabin
not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse
the California folks
were nestled and snug
in their bunkhouse bed
guests of son dan and wife amy
who were fast asleep in the cabin loft
just above my room
what goes bump in the night
dan was tiptoeing down the log stairway
about 12:30am
I said where are you going
he said there is something
trying to pound its way
through he floor of the bunkhouse
my guests just called me
on my cell phone
he grabbed a flashlight and a broom
and ran for the bunkhouse
in my santa flannel pajamas
I grabbed my 12 gauge and a flashlight
and followed him
the lights were on inside and out
one small head was peeking
out from under the covers on the bed
dan and his friend went behind the bunkhouse
and I went towards the front porch
we made alot of noise
without firing my shotgun
it scared whatever it was away
then we all settled down for
a long nights sleep
the night before chrismas
in the texas hill country

Skill Saw

we go to bed with the sun
gypsy and I were finishing up the day
and giving this some serious thought
old dogs and old women often
keep the same hours
it was already an extremely dark night
very quiet and still
after letting gypsy out for the just one more time
I crawled into my four poster antique bed
listening to a pack of coyotes
playing their nighttime games
a peaceful sound when you live
in the texas hill country
their yipping filled my ears and covered my eyes
with their first layer of sleep
all was well until 3:05am
a skill saw was screaming in my ears
what- who- what was going on
I thought wake up wake up
why wasn't gypsy barking
she was in the closet with her ears covered
we were scared
was there someone in the back of our woods
cutting something up and if so what was it
well since I am alone and needed to investigate
I grabbed my 12 gauge my surefire flashlight
and of course my cell phone
no one better be in our woods
it was dark and alittle spooky
I made my way slowly down
the old path leading me deeper
into the darkness of the woods
the sound grew louder
I needed back up like in the movies
I made my way slowly keeping my light low
who or what was waiting ahead
I wandered around trying to see the saw
it suddenly stopped
had they seen my light
my flashlight was growing dim
when it goes I will have trouble
finding my way back to the cabin
if the moon comes out
I will be able to see the cairns
I built marking these paths
but right now it was pitch black
was there someone headed my way
with a skill saw in their hands
I listened for the sounds
a person makes when
moving through the woods
I heard only the sounds of the night
but wait
what was that

Hummingbird Chili

the dreaded tap on the cabin window
just above the bench where the cats sleep
they leap for the birds that fly into that window
I run for the door leaving my pot of chili simmering
HELP ME LORD! get to that bird before the cats do
TOO LATE! there stands my beautiful bobtail cat
with a yummy dead looking hummingbird
clenched firmly in her mouth
BUT WAIT! is it REALLY dead
or is there a miracle nearby waiting to happen
I left the grocery bags from yesterdays shopping
hanging on the inside of the porch door
I grab them and throw them fast and hard at bobtail
who is giving me a dirty watch your step mama look
PRAISE BE! she drops the tiny destressed bird
I carefully quickly pick it up
the hummingbird sits in my hand recovering
blinking its eyes and changing its footing frequently
for the rest of its handmade hospital stay
as we sit in the morning sun pondering
this tiny beautiful trusting creature
makes me realize how fragile we are
how much we need to look out for each other
how much we need to trust and love
as I return to the chili to give it a stir
a hummingbird feather
slowly falls off my flannel shirt sleeve
and drifts into the pot

Bad Day Good Day

turn of events
making the past
much more tolerable
than the present
or the future
stuff gathers
derailing you
making the way
unclear
what has held you
in place
for so long
is slipping away
you are having
a bad day
surely a good one
is on the way

Surprises

thunder rumbles
in the distance
fog shrouds the hills
making each rain shower
a delightful surprise
each drop that falls
onto the metal cabin roof
finds a ridge directing
its path to the edge
metronome drops falling
and splashing as they hit
the wooden railing
next to the steps where we sit
making many little drops
that continue on their way
surprising the thirsty ground
marking our time here as surely
as the old kitchen clock
on the mantel
as its gong sounds the hours
time does not pass any faster
because we do
it will still leave us behind
we can't hang on to the raindrops
or the sounds of the hours
just the seconds of surprises
as they come and go so quickly
all left to the skillful
hands of time

Earthquakes

the center is shifting

there is trouble coming

great societies

have fallen disappeared

we look now

and wonder why

we see ourselves

out of control

and wonder when

the earthquakes

will shake

the last time

and close above us

Yourself

vanity and pride
hold onto
unforgivingness and hopelessness
finding finally defeat
and eternal sadness
why are you where you are?
is it where you want to be?
no?
then why are you there?
making myself think
my life is interesting to others
trying to make it so
craving acceptance and love
questioning heavy unhappiness
someone else is to blame
we have been wronged
when we do not forgive they win
do we see reality
or a world the way we
wish it would be?
finally if we choose we learn
the answers are all there
inside of us waiting for wisdom
we look everywhere but there first
we are our thoughts
how much time do we spend with ourselves?
are we a place we like to visit?
excuses and appologies
explaining ourselves
our lifeless tapes
we repeat over and over
we know them so well
there is no chance
our true self will show up
run faster
or you might catch yourself
in the webs of what you so
carelessly throw away
yourself

Arrangements

arrangements were made
the first commandment
forbidden fruit
good and evil
free choice
not free
faithless fate
more arrangements
were created

My Favorite Poet

I called my sister yesterday
and told her I thought my poems
were getting stale
I told her I had stalled
and was in a dead mans spin
she said why do you think that is
I said I can't get beyond myself
and my brain thinks I am interesting
and I am sure that I am the
only one who might think that
it is too attached to me
so I write stuff about me
she said move your mind
think outside the box
go outside your brain
or put it in a box
and send it on a trip
around the world
she said write
about your favorite poet
I said I am my favorite poet

Life Changes

life please
wait wait for me
best at first
our wishing well
of hopes and dreams
time in a hurry
days and years
slip and slide away
as wisdom seeps
and creeps like fog
into our days
age gives way to old
can't go back to late
fearing some memories
reminiscing the good ones
leaning pushing on reality
still hoping and dreaming
clinging to attention
not because of them
but because we cannot bear
our own company
fortune loses its power
what was first it gone
we cannot stop fragile days
and the quiet footsteps of death
having lived but half a life
craving the things
my world never possessed
not understanding
the changes
wait please wait

Coolheaded Poet

writing is best when it is cold
and that is not because it is cold
or that some might think I am old
its what I have been told
here at the computer my hands are like ice
writing away with the roll of a dice
there in not much control
over what comes into my mind
I must just be content
to write whatever the find
sometimes like walking the fens
in tall rubber galoshes
suction holding my sloshing
muck caught steps to pace
and yet I can bet
tomorrow I will be ice-skating
sliding with ease into each new word
like when I was a child skating
on the pet milk companies frozen pond
behind the new york central railroad tracks
near the small white house
where I grew up searching
making my place in the fields
like a weed growing on its own
spreading and gathering voices
and choices for my life
where these words come from

Rules

there are many rules
new ones and old
we have to choose
what we are told

you can't do this
you can't do that
you must be thin
you can't be fat

where am I to look
for me myself and I
up in the sky
or in apple-pie

chance filled choices
creating whats new
hearing your voices
what you will do

do not fret get
live life well
the best is yet
time will tell

Chasing a Word

cleverly put
a word or two

will certainly
do

but I prefer
to cause a stir
writing such words
line after line
that are too fine
to be left
without a rhyme
for their lifetime
or mine

Why Hummimbirds Hum

today a miracle occurred
right here at the cabin
in the leaping frog woods
on the cat porch out front
a hummingbird flew into a window
and fell on the sheepskin
covering the bench
where the cats sleep
bobtail the cat who is in charge
of protecting the food out there
had this tiny bird
in her mouth in seconds
no way I could get to it
before she did
Lord knows I tried
but when I opened the door
no dead bird was on the doormat
and there was no bird
in bobtails mouth
miracle bird escaped
this brush with death
we put the petunias out
in the angel flower patch
behind the cabin
an area pretty much cat free
for this hummingbird who
had something to hum about

Today

I am proud to say
I became a better person today
in every imaginable way
I wrote several very good poems
that may or may not
change the world
but they changed me
and that is the whole point
today didn't get in the way
because I didn't listen
to what tv newspapers
and other people
had to say
what a great day

Tinsel Town

tinsel town
going going gone
big movies big screens
moving to little
big screens at home
much cheaper
microwave popcorn
movies filmed
at good deal locations
stars war oscar wins
a new script
who I will be
myself I can't see
tawdry tinsel town
disappearing
just like me

On Line

there are many poems in my head
jumping and dancing around
the last line is near
while the first can't be found
the way is not clear
the destination is uncertain
nothing is for sure
but that words can be
left alone
on line

The Son Had Come

Jesus came for a visit
in the silent peace
of the morning
fog defining the distant
ridges rising above
the surrounding hills
wet rays of the morning sunrise
forming a fan in front
of a cross made by
two trees in the woods
sparkling wet kissed
leaves and branches
as clouds of fog
drifted through the rays
a shadow passed over us
the Son had come
to the peaceful quiet
place we made for Him

Breakfast Ice Cream

at the end of the day
mom put the empty milk bottles on the porch
for the milkman to take when he
made his deliveries first thing in the morning
three little girls were at the front door waiting
they could hear the clip clop of his horses hoofs
as it pulled Pippys wooden wagon down their street
Pippy would always smile and talk to the girls
he would twist his nose put his hand over his mouth
and pull out his false teeth it was like magic
to these little girls who spent the rest of the day
trying to figure out how they could get their teeth
to come out by twisting their noses
the top of the bottle frozen cream was scooped out
put in a small bowl and sprinkled with sugar
breakfast ice cream on a cold Ohio morning

White Headed Cardinal

she comes with many
but she is alone
each taking care
of themselves
no one pays
her any mind
as her white head
bobbs up and down
in and out
of the tall
bright green grass
her white head
that should be red
my beautiful
female white headed
cardinal

Shining Through

pondering on the cabin porch
me and my old hunting dog
are alone watching the sunrise
I keep my arm around her
because the morning is cool
and we are getting old
we are beholding to the nights gentle rain
for kissing the near perfect first light
of the sun shining through
our leaping frog woods
magic of the morning
turning the wet cedar trees lime green
making raindrops clinging to the trees
and to each square of the rabbit fence
flash like colored christmas lights
dropping drops looking like comets
flashing and dashing on their way
making wet moss covered tree bark glow
with an air of mystery in the soft light
we watch as the close-knit gray clouds
at the edge of a storm
move in from the southwest
and quietly swallow up the sun

Free Money

money is the root
of all evil?
most want it
and it does not come free
you can be given money
but someone paid for it
inherit it find it
earn it lose it
burn it melt it
spend it save it
invest it steal it
donate it worry about it
with too little
be corrupted by it
bribe people with it
throw it away bury it
hide it make it
make clothes
that look like it
take pictures of it
hold it in your hand
put it in your
purse and pocket
and wallet
money belt it
so think about it
it might make you happy
for awhile
but it won't keep you happy
but most importantly
you can't take it with you
you are leaving this world
the way you entered it
money free

White-Headed Female Cardinal

february 23 2010
texas hill country
live oaks and cedar trees
rivers and lakes
south blanco county
white-headed female cardinal
second sighting
first a few weeks ago
mingles well with other birds
at the feeders
with the exception of a white-head
looks like regular cardinal
december 29 1966 they were sighted
at green point union township
lebonon county pennsylvania
they stayed until
march 3 1967
in a valley between
blue mountain and second mountain
in the appalachian chain
oak and hickory trees
here at the cabin
this is big

Bobtail

manx cat
first feral
delicate petite
no tail no tale
remarkable
survivor
leader of two
six-packs
of feral cats
asleep on
her sheepskin
on the cat porch
near the snow
bobtail teaching
us all we need
to know

No Mirrors for the Monks

at the monastery on the hill nearby
where I go on sunday morning
there are no mirrors in the restroom
could it be they think if you see yourself
it will bring the world into Gods territory
what is wrong with what I look like
I have already altered it
to satisfy the world
I have already altered my being
to satisfy the world
I am what it expects I fit in
God loves us just as we are
why is it so hard for the world
or ourselves
to love us just the way we are
the only adornment we need is our soul
we don't need mirrors to see it

February 23, 2010

the texas hill country
it is snowing in south blanco county
the ground is white with green patches of grass
snowflakes as big as silver dollars
red cardinals eating birdseed on the snow
twice as red against the snow
each cedar fence post has a pancake of snow on top
a squirrel is eating sitting on an ear of corn
on a nail on a tree
the birdfeeders are very busy with doves
and other smaller birds
the sleet that is falling will cover the snow
and make it slippery
it is now sleeting and snowing oh my
what next from our gray sky
my dirt road will not get slippery but the paved ones might
gypsy knows what to do as animals do
she is asleep on her highway 281 red leather chair
her blankets are soft and warm
I will join her on my brown leather chair
absorb the warmth from the embers in the fireplace
and ponder how rare it is to get this kind of snow
here in the beautiful texas hill country

Why Didn't I Try

why didn't I try
I love you mama
please don't follow me home
can't you see
I don't know
where I am going
caught by destinies hook
found by windy clouds
making it difficult to see
no dawns early light
a frightful sight
no light for days
metronome steps beckoning
laughter finds my ears
mamas home I hear her calling
the grave couldn't hold her
neither could I

Food for Thought

how am I doing
what am I doing
facebook stuff
I don't think so
gypsy just got
a second $100.00 shot
from the vet
an infected anal gland
don't think you want
to know anymore
about that except
that she eats cat poop
might be the problem
there was a BIG scorpion
in my fruit bowl
its been too cold
for them around here
hummmm? must have come up
from mexico in a sack
of oranges
they are regular visitors
during the warmer months
we are always glad
when we find them
before they find us
edge falls a rock outcroping
nearby the cabin
looks like niagara falls
we were fogged in again today
gypsy and I sat on the porch
and watched our world
get smaller and smaller
and disappear
I made pork sausage
fried it on my buttered iron skillet
put it on an onion bun
spread with butter and toasted
yum yum bet you want some
the organic strawberries
weren't bad either
food for thought

God vs World

no matter how hard we try
to fill days
with people places and things
we are still alone
we know all is not well
but feel helpless
we need to learn more
no one can help us
with this lonely search
only patience and dedication
all we really need to do
is search for who we really are
come to terms
and love ourselves
everyone elses love
is not reliable or enough
and will not sustain us
as we search
the answers lie within
each of us
quietly waiting
for the ice to melt
and show us what has
been there
all the time
we stop searching
when we find ourselves
and establish a quiet place
for Gods eternal love
a calm and peaceful soul
full of God not the world

Firsts for Hadley

february 6th 2010
was hadleys first birthday
grandma milnor gave her
a bouquet of fresh spring flowers
beauty for someone beautiful
it was her first bouquet
there will be
much beauty and many firsts
for this little girl
look who won her first door prize
fair and square
2010 valentines day
at grandmas cabin
the table was set
a beautiful pink azalea
in a pink planter
was the centerpiece
on the old hotel table
it was to be our door prize
aunt sarah and friend jill
were the first to arrive
then nick and sheri with baby hadley
and sheris mom diane
aunt sarah and jill decided
on how to choose the winner of
of the pink azalea door prize
each person drew a number
aunt sarah called out
that two was the winner
in hadleys small hand
the number two on the paper
was already wet crushed and chewed
but not enough that we all couldn't see
hadley had won her first door prize
a happy valentines day

Being Alive

you don't think much about being old
when you are young
but when you get old
you think about it alot
you think about the real meaning
of life
what is it for
why do we have it
minimum control
ultimately no control
if you are lucky young is easy
maybe even fun
you don't know enough
to know
how much you don't know
you pine away the day
wishing for all the wrong stuff
and sometimes you get it
and crash and burn
you have alot of years
for that smooth waxed paper slide
into old age
as a matter of fact
until its here you don't know it
but what you do know is what you didn't know
when you were young
keep waxing your slide
its called
being alive

Gee Whiz

gee whiz
think of that
scaredy cat
don't know
scat flak
seems ok
fluffyness
didn't do
goo goo eyes
goodness sakes
no mistakes
braced words
huddled muddled
no fit fizz quiz
whiz kid
gee whiz

Return to Sender

return to sender
lost love exhumed
tender touches
hopscotch
secret glances
chanced
hushed words
whispers
high hopes
stolen smiles
tears traded
for truth
loveless
dashed trashed
no remorse
simply put
I don't love you
anymore
returned to sender

I'm Back

I'm back
my mind took a vacation
for the entire month
of january
a tricky month
that can fool you
into believing
you are really living
really alive
thinking eating and sleeping
or something like that
a train off the track
I'm back

Slot Machine

slot machine life
all those days gone by
stacked like stairsteps
stored on slot machine like film
running through the annals
of a 72 year old mind
like watching a movie
with no beginning
and no ending
starting and stopping at random
unorganized pictures
holding on to each other
to keep the present coagulated
laughing and crying
until the pictures stop
and I drop another coin
into the slot

Aunt Wilma

when aunt wilma was ten years old
she could walk under the kitchen table
there were whispers about some kind
of bone disease I don't think anyone knew
she was one of nine children
my grandmother delivered
on their farm in northern ohio
there were six boys and three girls
my mom was one of these girls
wilma never got very tall
but lived a long healthy life
alone until she moved into an old folks home
when she was living her middle years
she called home the second floor
of the old family house in a small ohio town
near the farm where she was born
mom use to take my sisters Nedra and Janny
and me to clean Wilmas rooms
there was no upstairs bathroom
mom carried the slop jar down the stairs
and emptied it in the outhouse
the slop jar was the size of a big paint bucket
and very heavy when full
mom gave each of use kids a piece
of something that looked like pink silly putty
we warmed it with our hands
she showed us how to slide it over the wallpaper
which was the way it was cleaned in those days
the pink color slowly turned gray then black
probably the result of the coal furnace
mom washed windows and took Wilmas laundry
to be done at our house
we were glad wilmas house was clean

In His Arms

Jesus is walking away from me
heading for a bright white light
when He walks through it
He will disappear
He is wearing flowing robes
of blue pink and cream
His hair is brown long and soft
He is not in a hurry
He is carrying someone in His arms
I cannot see who it is
one arm is hanging down
relaxed and safe
moving as they move
they are going forward
towards the bright white light
I have seen this often
and am waiting to see
if they move into the light
who it is or where they going
I do not know
what I do know
is that it is good

The Ride

there is a dark world
that lies just behind
the lighted one
we live in

in the light
it is the way
we want it to be
free of wanting

in our darkness
we know the truth
life is a trial
with dimming verdicts

we are sliding
down the hill
to nowhere
to no one

we cannot see
reaching to grab
what is not there
reaching to breath

wanting the light
to be our truth
knowing the ride
is to darkness

I'm Living Alone and I Like It

I'm living alone
and I like it
my time is my own
for the first time
I can waste it daydreaming
or watching old movies on tv
or maybe on a fine summer day
spend time in my hammock
watching clouds drifting by
I do as I please
and am pleased
by what I do
I make no appologies
for this lifestyle
I have created
it suits me just fine
most of the time

Silence

searchers
are not unhappy
where they are
they just need
to know more
days swallow their
patience
paying attention
alone hearing
quiet peaceful sounds
windswept softly
from the earth
piercing the silence
timeless listeners
searching because
they know
there is more hidden
in this silence
more to know

By Ear

the old dark upright piano
sat at one end
of our long dinningroom
silent until mom
sat down on the piano bench
one key at a time
she found whatever tune
was dancing around in her head
when mom played she sounded like
the old saloon piano players
the ones in the cowboy movies
sort of like honky-tonk
she laughed as she played
happy to go
wherever her music took her
listen closely
memories still hear
the music and laughter
that filled our house
so many times

nightmare

ouch

it hurt

when it

stopped

time passed

drifting

in air

bright flares

dying embers

flickering

crossroads

leading nowhere

nightmare

maybe red

the world was black and white

I wanted some color

maybe red

I wanted to mix it up

like in the real world

maybe red

New Moon Old Sun

full moon
brushed by pink
sunrise kissed
fluffy clouds

choices regrets
happy sad
another year
reconciled

no resolution
no sweet kiss
recollections
drifting sifting

sun rays
moonbeams
paving
the path

familiar faces
on the moon
smiling
remembering

old sun
beach sand
feeling still
the warmth